I know its supposed to hurt, but not so much...
I wish that it is all under control, but it obviously isn't

Wayne's got a return ticket for 2. As the reasons that are keeping me grounded fade away...the question remains as to whether I would eventually accept it and get away from this life. :/ Because, the pasture on the other side is always greener.

I can't put my thoughts into words properly. :/

But one thing for sure is that I was in love with you. And things are gonna stay that way for a very long time despite the things that were said and the things that were meant.

But till then. Goodbye.

Promos was an emotional roller coaster. If you live with me you would know what a wreck I can be sometimes. Gosh. I must have driven my parents half insane before I myself became nuts.

Now that promos is over...I don't feel that much better afterall.

Wayne thinks that I've built the "Great Wall of China" around myself; I'm simply not letting anyone in. Sighs. I guess he is about right. :/ I don't know why people often associate me with being outspoken, loud etc. when I'm just the total opposite. I guess when you get to know me better you realized that I'm way more shy than the average kid on the block and I'm super self-conscious. Hormones. But then again, who knows me well-enough anyway given the GWC. Sometimes, people are just too bothered about themselves to start caring enough about other people. Like seriously. They think that they are all so important and everything in the lives of other people ought to revolve around them (and I'm not referring to anyone in particular).

Hypocrisy. The mention of that word is sufficient to make me fuming mad.
1. STOP BITCHING ABOUT HIM YET ACT NICE TO HIM. I'm sup tempted to record what you say about him and play it to him. Annoys me to no end. (nice try)
2. IF YOU DON'T LIKE HIM, STOP ACTING THE WAY YOU DO AROUND HIM!
3. And to a certain somebody, I feel like saying "he doesn't freaking like you". But I know in your own little world, you wish he did, cause he is the only one that would ever like you. Okay, that was a little harsh, but the truth is harsh anyway.

After the uber emo 2009 post comes an uber uber emo today post

Insecurity feels like a void. The need for attention is merely a symptom. Till now there is no known cure, neither will there be. A house is nothing without its pillars, like man without his friends. Yes guys, hell yea do I miss you. Language is a barrier even when you speak it. I've changed too much for my own good. In the process of leading to the contentment of others, you often lose yourself first. You laugh but it hurts more than it should. Since when has laughter caused so much pain? You ruin yourself, hurt yourself, till you end up realising that things have taken a drastic turn. The warmth of your breath is miles away, so far that I can't feel it. Now I rely on fire, knowing that one day it might betray and consume me. They say that happiness is shortlived and sorrow often the opposite. Unfortunately, there is sorrow under happiness, does this mean that happiness never did survived? I'm a completely different person from who I was, is this a phase that would pass as time heals all wounds, or is time going to prove that this is who I am and who I am meant to be? I refused to admit that this is the kind of persoon that I have become. Reckless. Stoic. Unaffected. Dead.

Year twenty oh nine

Ok I know this was due 25 days ago. But don't judge the procrastinator.

Thanks to those who shoke my 2009, namely, Andy, Wayne, Beth, Sarah, Charmaine, Natasha, Tianli, Sabrina, my math tutor (Mr Chueng) and many many more...

Andy Wayne Beth
You guys are the coolllzzz... You respected and supported my every single decision, every move I made, although I stumbled, I fell you were there for me. Andy you were the man, you made the most difficult decision and were always there right here beside me. Your songs were lovely btw. Wayne (you stole my boyfriend) but still thanks for the shoulder and the support esp after JCTs where I almost got kicked out of college. Beth my long lost bff which is no longer as long lost after all. We hit it back on right that minute. You fulfilled your bff duties, partying gossiping and all that crap. Thanks for the crap.

Sarah
You were busy and so was I. But your text messages helped me get past the day. They made me laugh. My outlet for my rant, everything is said, nothing was ever hidden. ++++ BIMBO TIME!! I love you! (:

Charmaine, Natasha, Tianli, Sabrina
You guys made my first year in TA bearable. The pressure The school stress The homework. We made it through in one piece I guess. You tahaned my crap and my nonsense and my rubbish. Esp thanks for going through drama with me... that drama. Shopping after school was love! Class Chalet was awesome. Thanks for everything people.

DAMN I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!

WE are the PERFECT couple. Period